Attention

What is it about Attention that’s got us all so tangled up? Altering the way we walk and changing our talk, it’s all in the hope that somebody is watching. Those Fifiteen minutes of fame that you have been promised – They mean more to you than you think…or at least are willing to admit.

Broaden your mind and you too will see that attention is just a cheap word for Existence. I mean we all exist, that is how you are able to sit there and scroll through this Blog right now. But what good is existing if you cannot feel it?

I sit in a university library at 10pm, it’s packed and the noise levels are nothing like what I grew to expect from the movies. I caugh once, and I caugh again and nobody seems to notice. Everybody seems to be minding their own business. But I’m not buying it.

I look up and the girl to my right is having a young chat with some tall lad who’s stopped by her desk on his way out…I don’t think this conversation is very interesting to be honest – I can see it in his face, he’s not trying that hard. Yet this girl just bursts into a short-dry laughter. Approximately Five more words crawl out of the dude’s mouth and another cheap gag from the girl. This process continues for the next four seconds until the boy finally makes his way for the exit.

I was a bit annoyed by that whole thing. I just found it rather unnecessary, she was a bit too extra in my two cents. Anyways, The night went on and that event was halfway out of my memory when I saw that everybody else had a chat-mate nearby and that girl from the previous paragraph had been alone ever since. And that’s when it hit me that those two minutes with that guy may have been this girl’s only chance to cry out to the world “Hey everybody, I am here, I exist, see? He sees me!”

Think about it, Those hours you spend at the Gym, that outfit and your awesome stories and story telling abilities and even those awesome drawings you do, what’s the point of it all if you can’t blog about it for somebody to know about and credit you?

Think about it. Existing. Living the perfect life – what’s the point of it all if nobody will know? Living a sad life – what’s the point of it all if nobody’s going to pity you

Yes think about it…why pay attention to everybody else, show them love just as you wish it be done to you?

Because everybody deserves his fifteen minutes, but you deserve more fifteen minutes then the rest. You deserve to exist.

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2018: Green Light

“There is no such thing as Failure – Only Lessons”.

The hairs on my head cannot count the times I have tried to remind myself of this concept, it’s almost become the Jam to my Peanut-Butter.

For the first time in this life I have come out short. From a year where I did very little in the efforts of planting my seeds – The fruits I harvest are bitter. I guess that’s what I deserve because way too often I found myself content with my tasteless produce, satisfied with Average scores that put me just over the line.

It’s not that Law is a particularly difficult degree for me. I just cannot stand to sit – sit for hours on hours studying (such a bore)! Well of course it’s a bore, this is all rather new to me. I breezed through High School without openning many books, and hurdled all other obstacles since then and to this point I have never seen a book from beginning to end without missing most of the middles. I really never needed to invest that much time.

Poor time management, a lack of faith in my work and 3 months later I’m here in 2018 aiming for Change. What have I changed? Well – I’ve moved out of my previous residence and I’m trying to outgrow my Comfort-Zone. What’s new?– Coffee to keep me awake in class (lol), More reading to keep me up-to-date with my lectures – Library lady get ready!! This year I’ll throw a party at the funeral…the day I bury Procrastination.

I pray for more Wisdom oh Lord. Yesteryear I achieved so much. The Gracious Salvation, and Baptism, as I left behind the powers of Sin. The Holy Bible has become my favourite written Word. Lord you’ve even made me a leader amongst your people…all this and it’s just a pity that my mother is forced to look at the negatives because all this seems to have come at the expense of my studies. Mama’s Working her wallet for my studies, I’m beginning to feel like a walking drill but I’m this low and it’s by time I find some diamonds because I know I cannot afford to be here too long…

But Faith remains the Substance of all things hoped for…This year I’m taking control of my life and remembering that a wise Father cannot Give his prized Possessions to an immature Son. So let me help myself to grow to learn how to manage my time, to prioritise and surely success will fill my eyes.