Writing less, NOT for a lack of creativity.

It’s been a while and I’ve not had tears to cry. It’s been a while and I’ve not had to tell a lie.

Because in fact, much has been alright, and since I stepped out of the night, the lighter thoughts have calmed me down.

And now I am as the sun at noon, belonging in my own right, but the loss of tears seems to have stolen the sparkle from my eyes.

I’ve written much less this season but not from a lack of creativity. It’s been good news of late, good news that I seem to have subconsciously decided to savour rather than deliver.

I used to get lost in my words but I’d rather get lost for words. Laughter and smiles has kept me pre-occupied… What a blessing.

I can’t seem to be of much use to old friends now that I am here…we used to cry all night long about things we didn’t realise we couldn’t change. I know for sure that I’ve not yet buried the hatchet, and the wine is proof that I’m still a little ratchet.

But I’ve got no tears for that now – and I haven’t for a while. I lost a good friend just hours after promising that we’d be here together, but these things happen, in the meantime I’ll just stay pretentious…borderline specious, that nothing goes before season, and our short time came with reason.

Things are going alright for the raggedy dog, love does certainly save the soul. Peace is given to those who keep their eyes on their own piece. Happiness is a little more complicated, but laughter is a free trial to get you closer.

It would be a shame to think that my talent only comes with misery, that she only works as a coping mechanism. I’ll just have to make time for her as I did when we first fell in love, when her kisses still filled my belly with butterflies and we held hands as I showed her to the applause of the world, and I was that much closer to becoming a man. I could not stay away from her doorstep, inflamed with infatuation at the sight of her ease to make me giggle inside… And now that she’s a permanent resident under the cages of my ribs, let me not neglect her while I still have no tears to cry.


The Spiritual.

The Spiritual world really interests me. The Bible says that the Holy spirit is our advocate…


The English dictionary defines this as:

1) A person who publicly supports or recommends…

2) A person who puts a case on someone else’s behalf.

In South African law, an Advocate is a “specialist” lawyer

As a law student I am driven to this definition. Because legal representation in court requires expert knowledge. The kind of knowledge that we as normal citizens would lack, meaning the Advocate will see things that we cannot see. He will know precedent and therefore know what kind of defences are sufficient and which are not.

In other words, when the court of law seems to be a whole different world, the advocate is a native creature of that land and he speaks our case in the language that we might not completely understand. (Watch the movie Arrival, it’s kinda cool).

John the Baptist was in the wilderness preparing the was for the Messiah. This is recorded as something that happened in the physical, but I assume it also had a spiritual significance and served as a warning to the evil spirits that their rule on earth was coming to an end.

Adam and Eve sinned, but they were warned before hand that should they eat from that tree, they would surely die. However, they were not promised to die at a later time… They were to die on the spot.

But they went on to be banished and had two sons. Two very dramatic sons indeed. One killed the other and then went to create one of the most controversial plots in the Bible by somehow finding a wife… Even though the average reader will quickly remmeber that there was only four people recorded to have been in existence at the time…

Lol but that’s not the point…

Jesus met a man named Nicodemus. He told him that in order for one to enter God’s kingdom, he would have to be born of water and the spirit.

The water part is tricky, and very controversial… And like many other parts of the Bible, has been used by many people to achieve their own agendas.

1)The easiest water to think one could be “born” from seems to be baptism

2)The other water that one could be born from is the literal fluids of the womb – suggesting that that one must be human and not merely a spirit, in order to be saved.

3)And the other water could maybe be that which we see in genesis 1:6… The waters of the heavens

But I don’t know, and that’s not the focus in my thoughts right now…

The focus is the birth of the spirit. I think the rebirth of the spirit, which allows one to claim to be “born again”, shows us the kind of death that God warned Adam and Eve about. They did not die physically right away, but immediately their spirits did die… Which is why we now have to be born again because human flesh ain’t allowed in heaven you see…

Anyway, once you do accept Jesus as your Lord and savior and you get the advocacy of the holy spirit, I think it becomes quite useful when people are talking a lot of smack about you, cursing your name and wishing evil upon you.

As Eastern philosophies speak about the concept of Karma… You do bad, you deserve that back, but Jesus is so kind that he spends day and night fighting against the Karma payments that you are due… After all, he is the forgive and forget guy that we love.

The fascination of the spiritual world also comes from the power that our words have on our reality. I cannot stress enough how much I try not to entertain any bad thoughts regarding my safety when I am walking home from campus late after midnight… I believe that when I start expecting something, it will happen sooner or later.

I remember a couple of years ago, I wasn’t so comfortable with my driving and we had gone out with my cousins. I didn’t have a licence and was afraid of getting stopped by the traffic cops. Ironically, we were also listening to a song by a hip hop artist around our age who confessed to not having insurance just in case he crashed…

And guess what? I crashed. No worries, nothing major, just a bumper scratch in a parking lot – which becomes a lot worse when you’re a law student driving without a license. (fit and proper?)

And generally in everyday stuff, including my studies and mental health, I just try to focus on the desired result and that seems to work. I don’t even have to say it, I just have to believe it as much as I can.

Even Jesus spilled the beans that even an unbeliever can get their way as long as they have faith. That one gentile woman asked him to heal her daughter, he asked her why he should give the children’s food to dogs, and she showed faith and said, “even the dogs can eat the crums that fall from the table”… Jesus was pleased and the daughter was healed…

And I one day hope I will truly understand everything that I just wrote about, and hope to see that glorious kingdom of God… And also, maybe use this “believe it” thing to make some better investments and see some dividends in my bank account.


Just trying to be nice.

A major difference between western philosophy and eastern philosophy today is found in practice.

We hear of meditations, yoga, and all sorts of things that people near us do to bring themselves closer to oneness with the universe. Karma, energy and peace are not just words, but they are practices that people in the western world today try to live by… Even if they do it wrong… At least they try.

And as for western philosophy, well I’m afraid that is mostly restricted to the text books. Western philosophy today seems to have been limited to the person who attempts to prove his wisdom by how much he can read and how well he can regurgitate the clever words, mind-blowing questions and how many old Greek dudes’ names he can pronounce.

However, this philosophy was not always like this. This philosophy holds an important role in the foundations of our society today.

But I remember one time in high school when I was sitting in class and the teacher had gone out for some time. I was doodling in my book, daydreaming about one of the girls in my class.

I then got the idea that I should write her a love letter. But after a short thought, I decided that I was in no mood for that kind of embarrassment, so I decided that I would just try to get her attention, while also being able to disguise my intentions… And to cherry the top, I could also entertain some of my classmates.

So I began quickly writing out little “HELLO” letters on some paper and I distributed it to all the girls in my class.

I think everybody had a little laugh.

When the teacher did come back, the letters quickly found their way to her attention and when they did, I sat quietly at my seat in the middle of the class with a little smirk on my face.

I was genuinely expecting her to see the funny side of it all. But she didn’t. I don’t know if it was related to whatever she had been doing outside the classroom, but she did not give off any positive vibes…

Instead, she quickly asked the class if I had written anything else on the letters. I immediately presumed she thought I had written something distasteful in some of them… But I didn’t. I just wanted everyone to be happy. Making them happy made me happy…

But here I was, my intentions being turned on their head… and I have to admit that on that day my heart fell to the tip of my toes.

I was just trying to be nice.

But now I realise that maybe even just trying to be nice could soon be something to be only experienced in the textbooks, tested in a five mark question… and the theory of being nice could one day be reduced to the wisdom of a sociology 101 undergrad, to be shared over a turkey during Thanksgiving.

But I was just trying to be nice.