Love

3) Going through Growing: Love.

When I was a young boy, I had a dream that felt real.

In the dream, I had met the perfect girl and her name was Love.

Upon waking up and realizing that I was dreaming, I denied that it was just another of those random dreams that our brain entertains itself with while we sleep.

She felt so real and also made me finally feel real.

She brought a new light into my world, and made my heart beat faster. Her presence alone made my grass grow greener.

She brought rainfall to my soil and my soul grew fertile.

And of the things about me that wasn’t hers to ignite, her light was enough to light me into the required direction.

I tell you this truth, I never felt realer.

The next day, I couldn’t forget how she made me feel and how it felt being in her presence.

But the one sad part was that I’d forgotten her face.

I mean, I remember she was beautiful, caring and sweetheart.

But now I had a mission to find her without a map for starters.

And so I began looking far and wide, and ended up giving this heart where I thought I had found her.

I shared the story of that dream in which I first met her. Spoke of the kind of house that we owned and the children we cared for.

The mini-bus car that we drove through long vacations. The fights we survived and falling in love over and over.

But then as time went by the story slowly unravels. And the cover comes off to reveal that the one next me to isn’t that dream girl.

And you feel that love come and tumble down from your heart and you get the feeling in your gut that you’ve got to get out.

And so you do. But it hurts. Because it cuts – until it bleeds.

And you get scared of making the same mistake again.

And slowly the armour comes on, building gradually around your now faint little heart.

Your world has fallen apart.

And by the time you’ve stopped searching so hard, she suddenly walks into your life and you don’t know what to do because all the other times you had plans but now you’ve been caught in your sleep.

And it feels like that dream that you once dreamt. Remember?

And you jump straight into her love and relive it just as perfect as you dreamt it.

And everything is right, through the tough times and good, because you always find a way – but mostly she always saves the day.

And you love her and love her and she also does the same.

Until one day it creeps into your mind that perhaps this one too is like the last.

It’s quite stupid of you to forget that you’ve made the same mistake in the past.

And so the roses turn black as the storm thunders your mind.

You buy new shackles for your heart, the one she broke out of your hold.

Things turn sour, you do silly things to test her truth – things she doesn’t deserve for all the love she’s brought to you.

And that’s about what I have done until suddenly it began to break her too.

And you see a tear in her eyes, can’t believe it was you that put it there and you break once again… And your chains can’t save you from this pain.

And it all goes snap! You lose control and you fall to your knees, and if you only allow yourself to break in front of her, you’ll begin to feel that this is you becoming real – just not the way it looked in that dream.

And this the truth, that now you’re really falling in, falling deeper into the love and this falling you probably shouldn’t try to control because you’d be allowing yourself to fall into her arms and if she’s the one she’ll be real but if she’s not you will heal.

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