Identity, inspiration, life, life choices, lifestyle, philosophy, reality, self acceptance

Live Your Life like a Movie!

Ah I’m back home and glad to be because I just couldn’t wait to get my hands on my pen – figuratively, because this is the new age and I pick my pen, in all shapes and sizes from this option on my computer screen. Look how much we have developed, from “times are hard” to doing hard time for choosing the wrong words on the wrong comment section during your pass times.

I just wanted to tell you about what we did with my home boys during the weekend. We shot the stars down and lit up the moon with the flames from exhaust fumes that cut through the ozone layer and produced a hole in the system for us to pounce through. Why? Well everyone else is doing it. America did and became the greatest nation of our time. And now is our time, yes our time and we spend it online. So blame it on me if suddenly all the kids are finding ways of keeping up with the demands of this life you gave us, breaking out of your system that keeps us locked up in four-corner walls. Well we have become so accustomed to being stuck in a box, but we prefer to stay in the walls of our homes and hopefully make some money off the internet. At least this way we remain in the comfort of our loved ones with less fake friends and more time to make mistakes and make amends.

I too was once critical. Stuck in an old fashioned mindset that I don’t even know from whence I got it. But now look at me, I’m awake and walk with my eyes open and see that this is exactly how you said it was going to be.  Oh, You didn’t say it? Well then the lady on the television and that one guy who once acted in a Bruce Lee movie said it. And I take it that when you left us at home alone with nothing but the TV for company, you elected all those adults as your representatives, the elected guardians and now I live my life like an action movie, Love like a Romantic Comedy and hope that after doing all the dumb things I’m about to do, I’ll still end up with a happy ending as always…

See, every movie has a Main Character, that Star Player like Messi in Barcelona, and for these guys there’s always a happy ending in waiting. This Main Character might go through some struggles just like the other characters, maybe just as a way of diverting our attention from the fact that He is different and destined for greatness, admiration and ultimately, Survival. Well, that’s who I’m going to be. I’m tired of spending my precious time watching useless YouTube videos, Indulging in insane Hollywood movies and Listening to perfectly pitched Music Videos, No, I’ve made my decision. You asked me what I wanted to be, well I hope you really meant, what “I” want to be…because now I’ve made my decision, I wanna be the star of my own Movie. That is, My Life.

And yes, for every Main Character there is a whole bunch of people that join him on the journey. Some stay for the long run, sometimes even getting lucky enough to share in the success story at the end. And sometimes, the supporting characters are just diversions as I already mentioned, some are just examples and they fail and die away without any sympathy from the viewers nor the producers and directors – clearly.

And well, if my destiny proves to not be attached to me on that victory lap at the end and I find myself being nothing more than a side-act in somebody else’s movie, then let me stop trying to fight for the unfightable, let me stop trying to be something I’m not and just accept my fate and do whatever reckless stunt is expected of me and die my death, in perfect timing, and allow the movie to go on as planned, with me forgotten, left on the floor rotten while Isaac Newton comes only a day later to see another apple fall off from the tree and come up with an epiphany and just as usual, my lack of timing leave my name lost in time as a fading memory…yeah, that’s it…let me pick my stick one more time, until the next time and let’s see what’s mine and what’s not.

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life, lifestyle, Love

Times have Changed. Here’s an Update.

My child, I have traveled the ends the world many a times, seen the depths of a man’s heart deeper than even the greatest ocean would ever dare to surf. Love? I have known and lost. If you were to come in here tomorrow at dawn asking of hope, I can split your heart apart and put it together again by the end of moonlight and you would never care to partake in another of that meaningless chatter that you youths indulge yourselves in these days. You waste precious effort allowing contraction in your throat in the name of small talk. You have wronged, indeed by walking up to me with such a tame excuse of a presentation which I can assure any strange man on the street that you went through mars and all of the milky way in construction and deconstruction, addition and erasing, next time you would do best to think less and ask not, for I will not even bother to breathe a word of response with regard to your concerns.

But father, no, Dad…All my friends will be there and this event will be the decider of my reputation, not only for the rest of this year but also going into college next year. Even the lamest of the lames may create names for themselves this weekend. Spenser has just gone through a break up with that girl from next province and he has made it known that he will be on the lookout for a new love at this very event and I have a feeling he has got in his mouth a taste for a girl of my texture and type, you know, the kind that shies away from the hype, doesn’t get high and is bolted firmly into her roots.

You dare speak of bolts and roots and still bear the nerve to stand in your muddy boots and argue with me? If indeed this boy tingles for a mannered girl, you have proven in this very moment that you are not that. Let us then speed up the process, save ourselves senseless therapeutic sessions and pity stories when your disillusioned plans plummet into fumes and leave this entire household in the despair with the next excuse which you will mistakenly label as heartbreak. please and thank you…let us abandon this.

You know what you must do? call up a good friend and spend this time rather, in the comfort and safety of this lovely home your mother and I have worked tirelessly to build for your development and all else. Trust me, the time will come when you will know the true meaning of sacrifice and loss. Which reminds me, not that I could ever forget, of the brave young men who give up fear and aimless daydreams to stand firm in their numbers for the honor of defending their country and all its peoples, now those are the kind of men who can even dare to speak of preference. Especially when talking about women who are firmly tailored and mannered in their culture. Nothing in this world is just given, nothing that if truly of value is ever begged for, and lousy and shameless is a man who cries for respect when he fails even in the slightest of ways to inspect himself, his doings of past and his doings now, before he decides upon himself a position to make demands as if he has earned even the right to attain attention, not to mention, the affection of a woman with direction, devotion and well groomed dedication.

I am sorry to offer you a teaching as my elder and parent, for indeed you have earned in your time, the right and position to speak and be heard. But it is unfortunate and therefore, correct for me to give you an update. For the times have changed, this I may reveal unto you old wise man. Yes, times have gone and birth has been given to an era anew. Let today be the day that we wash the windows as I give you a new lens to apply onto your eyes. I am not of those brave young men who stand on the front line with our flag and frankly I am quite content if not ecstatic for that matter. I have grown with my eyes open, looking outward first before inward because out there there is the world. I am able to stand with my chest in bulk because I have learned the ways of the modern woman. In no way has she lost her value, however, it is her who has given up its application for the thrill of a wild ride out by the seashore where her hair can follow her as she throws her hands in the air screaming, ” I don’t care”. And you may look at this and nod not, but I put no blame on these modern ladies because I concur that it was your generation and the people of its time that put those unjustifiable constraints on the poor female. so what if honor be lost? at what cost? for it was freedom that was sacrificed and with freedom stolen, no being would be able to hold on to pain for so long…

 

 

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life, time, winning

Ahead of my time.

When I was just a little rascal, I heard somebody say Time waits for no man. Some time later I remember hearing somebody else say You Snooze – you Lose.

Then the days went by, followed by months and probably some years and somewhere in between, I remember playing with my friends when someone shouted Last one there is a rotten egg… I don’t remember who ended up being the rotten one, but those games were fun, competition was fun and winning was life.

So I went on to grow up in phases, taking part in the mainstream competitions along the way. Primary school games and High school sports, I won a few along the way as a Jack of all trades but master of none. All these were fun, but the sensation was too short and I lost the drive along the way. I was too unique to commit to only one of these games, so I simply stopped and changed my focus.

Then I remembered those phrases from my youth, it seemed like one man held a certain trophy and it could not be taken from him. Time – yes that’s his name, he was always in control and got praise from everybody who knew him. He was everybody’s favourite but nobody could compete. They cheered his name from the rural streets to the Mansions up the hill – Time is money – even the biggest corporates would admit.

They say, If you keep up, you never have to catch up. I’m sorry but I’ve never heard anything more foolish than trying to chase time. So I decided that I had to be ahead of him and it’s not that difficult. You need to know a few basic rules of time; I’ll leave here just two – Time is a measuring scale & Time is subjective.

I could go on forever about how I did it, but I want you to believe that I won the race and now I am ahead of my time. You’d think that this is a great thing to achieve, but it is actually quite frustrating. You see, we think we are racing Time, but we are actually racing people – our own peers most often.

When you are ahead of Time, it means that you have achieved what you did before your peers and before the time that the people before you set as the standard estimate for success – many people know this. But the problem with this achievement however, lies in the question: “What good is winning if you have nobody to celebrate with?”…or “What good is winning if nobody is there to see you win?”

So you do all the right things, but everybody else is still stuck on the left side of life – then your right things seem to them as weird and crazy. You become more at risk of depression, having to choose between enjoying your victory alone, or dumbing it down just a little in order to enjoy Da Tingz Dat Ur Frendz lyk.

But you have to realise that there’s no standing on the fence, you have to flip the switch and once you fall over you have to go all in, like SPLASH! into the deep end and there’s no coming back. You have to like their music and get intoxicated by the blinding lights and make the same mistakes that you knew you could avoid, but now you can’t divert, so you dive head-in with the crowd – get caught up in addiction and lose your self control – living your life shallow, a shadow of the man you could have been – the chance to stand out, you tossed it in the bin.

Now I realise why time will always win, he does not mind standing alone and being the standard of measurement. He does not mind being cursed at, or missing out on the fun. Time is winning and that secures his life, he beat the competition and became the game and now we play by his rules – so for that I give respect where it’s due, but I keep my eyes open and see if I can learn a thing or two, I’m waiting for his secrets because they said, Time will tell.

Look what I can do

Time waits for no man if

You snooze – You Lose because

Last one there is a rotten egg and

Time, Time is Money so

If you keep up

You never have to catch up because

Time is a measuring scale and

Time is subjective so remember

My Peers

Time will always win and

Time will tell.

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life, seasons, stress free

A season for everything.

“Liberty News” that’s literally the first thing that came into my mind after I entered the gates to my communal student accommodation.

The phrase comes from Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City, a video game staged in a makeshift New York City. I left campus about twenty minutes ago at 01:00am where I was studying for my International Law exam later on today. I had a lot on my mind, or maybe I had my head in the clouds, whatever it was it made concentration a struggle, so I decided I’d walk home and try not to flood my head with any thoughts.

So I counted my steps, every one of them. I looked down at the ground, at first the left foot fell on even numbers. But when I arrived home, the even numbers were on the right foot – I must have lost my footing along the way.

This game reminds me of a time when life was much easier than it is now. However, It wasn’t easy then so I guess it won’t get any easier. During a toilet break earlier I had wandered into thought about how all this stress comes from my struggles of being broke and trying to get rich. I realised that there is never a moment of peace because those who are rich probably spend their time stressing on how not to lose what they have.

Grand Theft Auto…those where the days, with my cousins and mates staying in a dark room all day stealing cars and racing away from police, it was all too easy – truly a grand old time.

I just can’t wait to get these exams done and dusted. I’ll go home and hopefully with something to celebrate. The last time I was there I had just got my drivers license and my mother was relieved, thinking she had got herself a mule to run her errands around town. It was all short-lived when she actually discovered my driving… all I can say is that I learnt it from Grand Theft Auto!

I’m currently 21 and how quickly the excitement of growing up has weathered away. High school was a breeze and fooled many into thinking we could actually get these degrees. Now I’m stuck in the eye of the storm, sometimes I wish I could go back to the sunny days of youth. And sometimes I wish I could just skip this stage and climb onto the one where I already have it all, planning trips to tropical vacation during the fall.

But then I stop to think, what if I get there and wish I was here? I cannot forecast the future, it’s never clear. But it’s so easy to get blown by the wind to wishing you were here and there, but I guess everything has it’s season – I hope that’s enough reason to get me off this post and into my books. The sunny days are still to come.

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