Coming out…

As I look at the city and see the beautiful lights that shine in this night. I appreciate this view. But then during the day, I struggle to appreciate the magnificent sun, the mother of all the light that I know.

And even now, as I look up to the stars, I know you created each and everyone of them – why? I really don’t know – but they are beautiful.

And even this talent that you have given me. To write simple words such as these and to have them appreciated and enjoyed by people who have eyes to see them on this screen, and a beautiful mind to comprehend them…surely it is you who is behind all of this.

And this beautiful little talent which you have given me, the same talent I am so afraid to use to say, “God created this”, because I am afraid that my readers will fail to comprehend you. I can’t even comprehend you.

And these drugs which I find myself now so addicted to. It is you who gave the man who made it – the mind to put together the right ingredients to make it. And now here I am asking that you will free me from it…because even the science that went into the making of these, it was you who put it together.

So why am I so afraid to acknowledge you? You who gave me this mouth and nostrils that breathe in this air, and the lungs that know just how to convert each breath into life…so that I may live another day to see that car that my eyes so love…the sound that comes from its engine – your wonderful engineering that went into it, I fail to see.

I fail to see your wonderful hand that went into your creation, and your powerful hand that is still upon me and even on the man who will see this and read in disbelief of how ignorant I must be to think that a fairytale like you could make all that is so real…to me it’s surreal…but one day you will reveal…and your glory will prevail for all mankind to turn back to you – my little big fantasy…you are one fantastic fiction, causing this friction between my intellect and your authority…

Please sustain your superiority. Prove me not right in the words that I write here, but reveal your heart so that we can see that part of you…that part of you which we know as judgement – oh God, you are good and I am not.

In the Dark

Hidden in the dark are my fears and regrets and secrets of shame. I remain in the dark to keep a close eye on it all to make sure none of it escapes, to make sure nobody gets to see what I am and what I am not.

It is Dark in the Dark I cannot see no hope, nor faith and the truth is no different from lies for in the dark it is Dark. I cannot see and neither can you.

It is quiet in the Dark I close my eyes and I begin to dream. There is light in the dark and I can see the grass is green and the skies are blue. You don’t need to tell me twice, I can see that the birds fly – with mighty ease they reach for the clouds and nest on the trees…this is my dream, my dream of light in the dark. There is light in my dreams, in my head, no – there is light inside me.

In me there is light. O’ light spread all around, to my hands to touch and my legs to stand. I reach out and touch you and you awake and click the switch, there is light in the room. I can see your eyes in the light and they shine so bright, just to think all of this started with a little dream – a little light in the dark.

My fears and shame, they remain in the dark – I don’t wanna go back to the dark. There there is no hope and no spark. I’ll remain in the light, I can see it all, you don’t have to tell me – the truth is true. I am what I am and not what I am not.

Worry.

“There’s such a fine line between the things you want and the thing that you get.”

Why are you so worried? Don’t you realise that the world and it’s fibers are just as loose as your problems?

Imagine an ant on a full piece of paper. The paper being a two-dimensional shape. The ant is born on the left end of the page and it begins to walk horizontally across the Length of the paper which will take him thirty seconds to cross completely.

After walking for five seconds, the ant has gained five seconds worth of knowledge about its world…let us imagine those five seconds amount to five years in an ant’s life.

It then takes the ant another ten seconds to reach the half way point of the paper and that ant has then acquired half of the knowledge it will ever know about the world. Let us then assume that you have your finger at the other end of the page and upon the ant reaching this point you plan on squashing him to his death…which would then mean that this ant will live thirty years of his life.

The ant finally completes the long walk across the page, proud that he lived his life wisely and did not wander off this path. He never had to work a day in his life and didn’t have to experience any heartbreaks or failures…he is now ready to die in peace at the mature age of thirty.

When the ant arrives at the end of his life, you suddenly become an animal Rights activist and “Ants’ lives matter too”. You then decide not to end the ant’s life and you then fold the paper into a three-dimensional cylinder shape. Your manipulation of the ant’s world suddenly brings him to a dilemma because when he then walks further on the paper with no ends – he finds himself once again on the left side of the paper, where his life began.

The ant is now totally baffled and now the clean life he lived is at risk of ruin due to the temptations of the smell of sugar from the ice-cream that your younger brother has now walked into the room with…

Where am I getting to with this? Well God is the creator of this world. He exists outside of time and has placed us in a three-dimensional world and everything we understand about life can only be measured by three-dimensional standards

This is where the concept of “Faith in the Creator” comes to play. Having faith that God can take control of your destiny can get you supernaturally, or foolishly (by the standards of scientists) on the better side of life…all missed opportunities can suddenly come back to you…it’s all through his grace.

So are you still worried? Ask the birds why they don’t have a storage for tomorrow…