growth, inspiration, life lessons

Breaking Bars

Meditation for internal stimulation, I’m going through hibernation, looking for peace and relaxation because lately I’ve been anxious too much.

I’ve been tested too much, but instead of preparing for the challenge, I turn to texting too much. It’s September but I’ve been having the same battles since March.

I’m starting to feel like a man I don’t like. I’m starting to see negativity brewing in my guts. I’ve been complaining so much I think I need a break. Take jog to the store for a Kit Kat and while at it, break a sweat or two…really I’ll do anything to break this chain of solitude.

I mean. I’m young, restless and ambitious…but this transition can be so overwhelming that it starts to feel like prison. It’s one thing to be tortured, but it’s a whole other chronicle when your biggest enemy is your own mind…Oops, that sounds like complaining.

No I’m no longer complaining. And soon I’ll also stop campaigning. I’ve been crying my heart into a spectacle for people who only think about champagning…Everybody else is popping and here I am pooping, talking a whole load of “truth” crap about love and peace, so I don’t know why I get so shocked when I’m feeling flushed.

But no, I’m young and I’m free, not old drinking tea, I should also go out on a spree. I should just go back to finding joy in participation medals, getting indebted by flashy metals and arriving in sports car rentals – owning nothing but my ego, paying no attention to civil ethos, look up to the Migos, disrespect national heroes, and while at it, care less about Global warming in Barbados…

Because the world doesn’t care as long someone else is on it. Instead you advocate selfishness…so I too shall own it.

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dreams, inspiration, life choices, truth

Follow your dreams

Follow your dreams. You might not take life seriously but life takes itself seriously and she will continue with or without you.

Your words are your dreams. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Countless thoughts rage through my head daily, so impolite they are as the next one doesn’t wait on the last one to end…they pile up – one on top of the other.

At every conversation I partake in a practice of letting them loose, I have to watch my tongue and be careful whom I might insult and keep watch, safeguarding what I promise – I need to practice what I preach.

I’m singing a song about the day and it’s troubles, where are the victories? I’ve left them hidden and chained – at this rate depression is inevitable.

My words are my dreams and we had a conversation the other day, you asked who I wanted to be and what I wish to achieve. I spilled it in fine detail like a work of art because that’s my favourite kind of talk – rambles from fantasies that have no consequences.

Oh but how I was wrong. The Price to pay for every spoken word is the result. If only I had known that the difference between reality and dreams lies hidden in the power of the Will – the action that leads to innovation.

Talk is cheap, the death of the mindless. Wise words bring life, healing and comfort. Wisdom is my insurance, assurance of good judgement – that’s what I seek.

Speak of the devil, the bastard shall appear, in time to devour. Don’t say I didn’t warn you – your words are your dreams.

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blogging, inspiration, life choices, Love

A Message from Below…

It only takes a moment for a story to be told for a life-time.

So there I was asleep in the dark surrounded by four brave walls and cushioned by a single bed positioned in one of the corners. I dont have much of a pillow left but as long as I can keep the pillow case on, I’ve got enough to dream on.

He’s got guts of steel, that much I have to give him. But I need to find something to give him from my heart. I dig deep and all I can find is Pity. Pity and a Prayer – that much he has earned. My respect he decided he does not need, and my phone he stole!

So I was asleep one Monday night relieved thinking I had made it through the day that nobody loves to participate in. Deep in the night he creeped in and I must have been just as deep in sleep when I didn’t hear him temper with the window.

Clearly I don’t have good hearing, but I surely have the nose to smell a rat. And that’s when it hit me, I was not alone in my private space. I opened my eyes to the sight of his dark figure and in an instant I exploded into shouts of hope – trying to make it as scary as possible and it worked, when faced with fight or flight the coward was out in a flash…not that I was particularly keen on a fight, you know, I was barely awake.

So he jumped out of the window from which he entered and with him – my phone he stole. He must be gutted, that was all he could get his hands on. But I must be even more relieved that he did not manage to get his dirty hands on my soul.

He’s cost me a full month without my phone and without it I simply cannot blog. My blog to me is like I’m writing a special text to a friend, to you…and I just can’t do that on the laptop for some reason. But in that month I learnt a lot and God has been faithful and the phone has been replaced and I could have cried many nights over that phone and still I would have been here right now with a smile in my heart.

So I wanna tell you this story from the bottom, the place where you feel like your good deeds are never seen while your mistakes are never missed, I have been there and I come now with a lesson: you cannot jump unless you first get a good launch – you cannot launch until you get on your feet and it only takes a moment for a story to be told for a lifetime.

It’s all in the journey of life, in my constant battle as a young-adult and coming to terms with maturity, I am slowly seeing that not everything is as bad or good as it seems, the excitement is in finding out which one it is and the growth is in determining which one you emphasise.

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Friendship, inspiration, south africa, Uncategorized

2018: Green Light

“There is no such thing as Failure – Only Lessons”.

The hairs on my head cannot count the times I have tried to remind myself of this concept, it’s almost become the Jam to my Peanut-Butter.

For the first time in this life I have come out short. From a year where I did very little in the efforts of planting my seeds – The fruits I harvest are bitter. I guess that’s what I deserve because way too often I found myself content with my tasteless produce, satisfied with Average scores that put me just over the line.

It’s not that Law is a particularly difficult degree for me. I just cannot stand to sit – sit for hours on hours studying (such a bore)! Well of course it’s a bore, this is all rather new to me. I breezed through High School without openning many books, and hurdled all other obstacles since then and to this point I have never seen a book from beginning to end without missing most of the middles. I really never needed to invest that much time.

Poor time management, a lack of faith in my work and 3 months later I’m here in 2018 aiming for Change. What have I changed? Well – I’ve moved out of my previous residence and I’m trying to outgrow my Comfort-Zone. What’s new?– Coffee to keep me awake in class (lol), More reading to keep me up-to-date with my lectures – Library lady get ready!! This year I’ll throw a party at the funeral…the day I bury Procrastination.

I pray for more Wisdom oh Lord. Yesteryear I achieved so much. The Gracious Salvation, and Baptism, as I left behind the powers of Sin. The Holy Bible has become my favourite written Word. Lord you’ve even made me a leader amongst your people…all this and it’s just a pity that my mother is forced to look at the negatives because all this seems to have come at the expense of my studies. Mama’s Working her wallet for my studies, I’m beginning to feel like a walking drill but I’m this low and it’s by time I find some diamonds because I know I cannot afford to be here too long…

But Faith remains the Substance of all things hoped for…This year I’m taking control of my life and remembering that a wise Father cannot Give his prized Possessions to an immature Son. So let me help myself to grow to learn how to manage my time, to prioritise and surely success will fill my eyes.

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