Towards the light/Curiosity killed the cat.

There was a time not so long ago when I suddenly became intrigued by the idea of lucid dreaming.

I think I had then recently watched the movie Inception and I thought perhaps, if I could stay awake while I dreamt, maybe there I could chase God or find truth.

One night I planned to stay up all night to study and so I made a late cup of coffee. It’s always the best time to indulge in these drugs when they’re still new to your body.

I drank the cup, but failed to stay up. And as I listened to a C.S Lewis audio-book on YouTube half-awake, I began to see a beautiful blue light with no end.

My body felt, or I dreamt that it felt as though I was floating, and then I began to float into the light.

What an exciting feeling it was, at the beginning when I just wanted to feel what comes next.

But as the light moved faster behind me, a sudden fear came upon me. I started to feel as though I was now falling beyond my limits and though I was still intrigued, it felt as if whatever was to come next, I was not ready to see.

I then simultaneously closed and opened my eyes. The former in the dream and the latter as I woke…

The relief of normality as though I had just been through a nightmare. Perhaps I was… But man, I think I know now, how curiosity can kill a cat.

Standard.

Hey, why are we only allowed to look back?

When we do, and we see bad, we get depressed.

When we do and see good, they call it pride.

Why can’t we look forward?

’cause when you do and see bad you get anxious – But if it’s good they’ll say “delusion”.

Uhm, so what should we look at now?

We’re well fed, yet still sad, and yet still, glad.

Man, what’s with all this confusion?

Started with the puzzles when we were six… And now a devil is flooding us with treats and tricks.

Or so I have heard. Hey, apparently I’m fighting an invisible battle. Apparently we’re now fighting the Crowned Prince himself…

Yeah, so much confusion. So many lost lives. So many scared wives. So many scared Kings, and Queens and Ministers behind masks…

Okay enough of blurred remarks:

I’m getting so big for the place I’m standing in that I’m afraid I need to quickly find my next spot.

But fear is for the weak, and as weak as I can be, I hate it and I’m still willing to put a fight.

As I walk into this darkness I hope I’ll keep my charm and my calm and bring forth to the front now, everything I’ve learnt because WOW.

I hate looking forward because it makes me feel small, but as I write this, I hope I’ll leave these silly truths here because I’ve got to write my path and through the dark, there’ll shine a star, then another, and more, until the sun comes around.

Another day that I’m looking forward to, and today one I’ll look back at, and there and then I’ll meet the Standard.