being! BLACK

Fifty shades of black. Light complexion, creamed perfection and Dark. Dark perceptions and bad expectations all leading to a bad black experience, no explanation for a forever damned nation – feels like a failed experiment.

Nappy hair from top to bottom, a struggle to comb – it’s been a struggle since we came out the womb. Ratchet hair matching my ratchet stare that sends the neighbours into hiding, behind tall white walls where police are waiting on speed-dial calls.

When he came with silky curtains covering what he truly had up his sleeve. We wondered while he pondered the best way to make away with everything he could reach with his perfect hands. “Tomatoes and carrots, I’ll take a bunch of that for this leather on my toes“.

We gave it to him, fair trade, next time he came he shot a few for game. It was the first Demonstration of the demon of our frustration. Here’s some candy, it’s a sweet gesture, I’ll need half of your sugar cane when I’ll return again to give you a bunch of these with which your very brothers lay slain.

It’s backward minded, the ways of your culture, here’s some infrastructure – you can thank me later. Have some cheese, shred it with a grater, I promise this life is greater – sail back with me you can be my waiter. The life of picking carrots is redundant like a parrot, give me some of your carats and I’ll return with a food that never rots.

It’s called school, it will save you from your life as a fool. You’ll starve to fund it but in the end you’ll get a job you will be full. Remember when I brought you that candy, you were living in that ragged place too sandy. But now You’re no longer like those others, the sight of them just bothers, and so too does you calling them your brothers.

The dark ones are just unbearable – They make fitting criminals, I feel less guilty beating The ugly. And why are they always so rowdy, I’m glad you’ve lost that savagery, you’re so much more ruly. But I must say truly, the women are rather creamy, curved so fully – I should have took one for when I’m lonely.

Take me back to my father’s garden where we picked tomatoes and carrots and feasted on a fattened beast. They took that from us with an infrastructure and a never rotting food which they manufacture. They took me with them, taught me their ways and their tongue and then told me to buy organic.

Why do you bother, you have grown softer and you no longer speak the tongue of your mother. Nice curtains you’ve got on there, we will try not to discomfot you with our stares just in case you also seek cover up in your stairs covered by white walls and a system that calls the police to keep us out.

Welcome to the new world brother, we sit in the middle, between creamy desserts and Dark. Our people have forsaken us, those people should never have taken us to those schools because now we are the fools, swimming in pools of blue paid for by the price of the red pools of the slain. Now my brain has been washed but somewhere inside there it still rain and thunder constantly as I ponder if there will ever be a way to return to Black

Kings Of Earth

Long ago there lived two Kings, the King of the North and the King of the South. Each of them ruled in his hemisphere and was happy with the way his Kingdom operated and how his subjects lived on the land.

In time the Earth became too small and each King wanted to expand his influence and make the whole world happy his way. The two Kings met of the peak of a great mountain in a day that would late be known as The Eclipse.

On that day, the Kings laid down strong arguments, one spoke with great wisdom and the other with splendid charm. They were both worthy suitors for the throne over the Earth, but they were too different.

The King of the South was the older of the two Kings and much wiser. He was very bright and he filled his Kingdom and people with happiness and laughter. He cared so much about the affairs of his people and was always ready to help, be it on their farms or even with making fires to cool their meals. Sometimes his people would even consider his kindness “too much” and they would hide and shade under trees and in their homes.

The King of the North was young and enthusiastic, I see a little of myself in him. He was the most handsome being in the North – white like a pearl – the ladies loved him. He changed his look from time to time, he was everybody’s type – round and whole or thin and Sharp.

He created for his Kingdom an enchanting and peaceful world and they would spend their days just admiring the beauty of their world and each other. The King was proud of his Kingdom. It was cold and icey, the people stuck closer to each other in the comfort of their homes instead of out with the streetlights.

When the two Kings met, the Northern Master criticised his counterpart, “look how your people run around all day, eating ice cream and drinking soft drinks and polluting the environment with the empty packs thereafter. If you rule any longer this world will not last too long”

The Southern Wise Man refused to criticise the laziness of the people in the North, but he defended himself, “What good is the life of this World if the people cannot enjoy their lives on It?”

The discussions went on for too long until the Wiser man said, “Have you ever heard of Yin and Yang? They lived on this Earth when your father ruled in the North, I was just as young as you are at the time. Yang was a fine young man who grow up over on that valley over there, he travelled North and met Yin from your father’s land. They were so different but yet so beautiful in the way they brought two Nations together “

The two Kings then agreed to the lesson of Yin and Yang, thinking about how they were so greatly remembered for their pioneering efforts. The King of the North saw a chance to create history and he too could be remembered for being a part of something beautiful and new.

So they agreed that they would combine their Kingdoms into one. They would share rule over the Earth, however not simultaneously, no – that would could prove too chaotic. So they agreed on that day that in a twenty four hour day, each would get rule over half of the day and would lose all jurisdiction while then other sat on the throne. It was agreed and sealed.

Today, The two Kings still rule. The Southern King continues to bring happiness and joy – activity and productivity – now to the whole world at large. The King of the North enters to bring calm to the world, a blissful charm that leads every home into slumber as the King remains away to enjoy his handsome reflection on the sea undisturbed.

Greedy Power!

Power…Greed…More Power…More!!!!

I need power for security, I need power for continuity, I need power in my community.

Look how much I have to offer to this world, look how much wisdom I possess. This world needs a leader like Me, I can change this world and make it a better place for my people – I can make this world a better place for all people.

Love. My family needs to trust Me, I can get us out of our poverty. My family needs to love Me, otherwise I’ll leave them with nothing in my legacy.

Love. I love this world but this world doesn’t love me. Why doesn’t this world love me when I am so much better than most people? This world needs to love Me, otherwise I’ll leave the world in ashes covered in nothing.

I’m feeling low, falling into nothingness. I need somebody to blame. I blame this whole world for it did not love me. I blame you and him and her and them. I blame Donald Trump, he’s racist. I blame England and her colonies. I blame China – she built a great wall to protect her heart and left me in the cold with cheap cloth that tears, leaving me shivering and in tears.

Nope! I can’t go back to that, so I need power to suppress my oppression. I need power to be amongst the greatest. I need power and she will love Me – I need it all until she has no choice but to beg me.

I need power in my words. More power in my message will get me heard. I’ve been crying in silence, now please hear me out:

It takes a Real Man to cry because he’s come to a point where he understands that there is freedom in the truth. Tears show weakness, but it took a lot of strength to let them out and a lot more to admit that I lacked the responsibility to carry all that power.

It caused a burden on my heart when I could not use it, hoarding it in my greed, until it became heavy on my soul and that was the death of me because I was drawning refusing to let go of the weight so I sank to the point where I drank too much to blur the truth – that made me aggressive and I got caught in a Power-brawl and lost a tooth.

Now you see it in the end – too late. A toothless Man with too much Power but not enough strength to exercise it. It begins to clot in empty promises that leave you dying and the world doesn’t love you, your children don’t know you…“More Time…More!!!” Will be your cries but you’ll be better off Resting because while Alive you had no Peace.

Sounds of Africa

Boom Boom! That’s the sound of the African drum!

Mama and the ladies dance around the fire.

Boom Boom! That’s the sound of the mine!

Daddy and the Men shall go and dig for Diamonds.

Boom Boom! That’s the sound of a bomb!

Brother and the gents decided to exterminate the embassy.

Boom Boom! That’s the sound of the Baas.

If I don’t carry my pass I’ll be good as dead!

Jack and Jill.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.

Jack fell down and broke his crown, then Jill came tumbling after.

Jack got up at snapped at Jill, she had turned his misfortune into a spoof.

Jill got up, her empathy rejected, then teased “no food for fools who lose their cool – only punishment for broken crown”.

Jack did get some sense knocked into his head and said, “why up the hill? The water flows downstream!”

And so they walked and saw Diddle’s cottage. They knocked twice each, singing “Hey Diddle Diddle”

Inside was the cat with a fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon.

The dog did laugh at such good sport, and the plate ran away with the spoon.

What a weird old man Diddle is, Jack said, he needs to get a maid, I think his brain is delayed.

Then to home they hurried, on the way they passed Humpty, as he sat on the wall.

He’s been there since fall, said Jill, he’ll never grow tall.

Yup, nodded Jack, I heard he’s a washed up Horseman – Oh from Grace, what a fall.

A season for everything.

“Liberty News” that’s literally the first thing that came into my mind after I entered the gates to my communal student accommodation.

The phrase comes from Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City, a video game staged in a makeshift New York City. I left campus about twenty minutes ago at 01:00am where I was studying for my International Law exam later on today. I had a lot on my mind, or maybe I had my head in the clouds, whatever it was it made concentration a struggle, so I decided I’d walk home and try not to flood my head with any thoughts.

So I counted my steps, every one of them. I looked down at the ground, at first the left foot fell on even numbers. But when I arrived home, the even numbers were on the right foot – I must have lost my footing along the way.

This game reminds me of a time when life was much easier than it is now. However, It wasn’t easy then so I guess it won’t get any easier. During a toilet break earlier I had wandered into thought about how all this stress comes from my struggles of being broke and trying to get rich. I realised that there is never a moment of peace because those who are rich probably spend their time stressing on how not to lose what they have.

Grand Theft Auto…those where the days, with my cousins and mates staying in a dark room all day stealing cars and racing away from police, it was all too easy – truly a grand old time.

I just can’t wait to get these exams done and dusted. I’ll go home and hopefully with something to celebrate. The last time I was there I had just got my drivers license and my mother was relieved, thinking she had got herself a mule to run her errands around town. It was all short-lived when she actually discovered my driving… all I can say is that I learnt it from Grand Theft Auto!

I’m currently 21 and how quickly the excitement of growing up has weathered away. High school was a breeze and fooled many into thinking we could actually get these degrees. Now I’m stuck in the eye of the storm, sometimes I wish I could go back to the sunny days of youth. And sometimes I wish I could just skip this stage and climb onto the one where I already have it all, planning trips to tropical vacation during the fall.

But then I stop to think, what if I get there and wish I was here? I cannot forecast the future, it’s never clear. But it’s so easy to get blown by the wind to wishing you were here and there, but I guess everything has it’s season – I hope that’s enough reason to get me off this post and into my books. The sunny days are still to come.

Follow your dreams

Follow your dreams. You might not take life seriously but life takes itself seriously and she will continue with or without you.

Your words are your dreams. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Countless thoughts rage through my head daily, so impolite they are as the next one doesn’t wait on the last one to end…they pile up – one on top of the other.

At every conversation I partake in a practice of letting them loose, I have to watch my tongue and be careful whom I might insult and keep watch, safeguarding what I promise – I need to practice what I preach.

I’m singing a song about the day and it’s troubles, where are the victories? I’ve left them hidden and chained – at this rate depression is inevitable.

My words are my dreams and we had a conversation the other day, you asked who I wanted to be and what I wish to achieve. I spilled it in fine detail like a work of art because that’s my favourite kind of talk – rambles from fantasies that have no consequences.

Oh but how I was wrong. The Price to pay for every spoken word is the result. If only I had known that the difference between reality and dreams lies hidden in the power of the Will – the action that leads to innovation.

Talk is cheap, the death of the mindless. Wise words bring life, healing and comfort. Wisdom is my insurance, assurance of good judgement – that’s what I seek.

Speak of the devil, the bastard shall appear, in time to devour. Don’t say I didn’t warn you – your words are your dreams.

Truth Hurts.

I couldn’t stand being rejected, so I rejected. I couldn’t bear the weakness, so I suppressed. I couldn’t risk being cheated so I cheated first.

The truth is a tough pill to swallow but it heals the wounds that the eyes cannot see and the flesh prefers not to feel. The lies are so comforting, not taking the pain away but turning me to another direction and wheeling me further away from the pain of having your life-long dreams lying slain in plain sight, all that little boy called “me” wanted to do was board a plane for the first time and fly off to see Spain.

Growing up afraid of the dark and now I’m so dark deep inside where the sun don’t shine, until the day when the devil says “now you’re mine” and doctor’s flashing that light into your intestine concluding your autopsy – “too much wine”, your death is nothing devine and your mama is left to whine over your graduation picture captioned “The world is mine”.

The truth hurts, that means your happiness is a lie and that’s why you’re so offended every time God enters the conversation, telling you that he knows the drill – the devil just wants to kill – and steal – destroy. If you’re looking for some muscle you’ve got to lift some real weights. And if you’re looking for knowledge you’ve got to read some real books – Oh if you’re looking for some joy you’ve got to seek the real you.

The comfort zone is a prison cell, a rotting hell – leave some bread there for a week and you will tell, do the same with some cheese and you could sell. Some billion people out in the world and I chose to live in a shell, I can’t take the criticism but I need their love to fill a “me” museum big enough to rival the colosseum. And if somebody threatens to dent my pride, I’ll run him over and film it for the world to see him.

I told you I’m afraid of rejection so I came up with my own objection of everybody and everything and there was no exception until it became a real obsession which turned out to be a sad reflection – that I’ve become the very thing that I feared and hated and now my childhood dream to change the world is looking outdated and I might not ever get to shout out a loud and proud, err …”Mama I made it!”.

Movie Nights

In an age where the night life seems bliss I appreciate the moments like this. I told my friends that all I need is a true Queen to kiss, I’ve found her, so tonight any other girl can count me as a miss – For tonight I’m saving the costs of the bill because I’m staying in for some genuine Netflix and Chill.

I’m counting my losses and multiplying my blessings, I mean no disrespect to those who are still chasing, but I’m done entertaining the glitter in their many shapes and sizes because I have found a diamond and I swear she’s priceless.

We were young but I wouldn’t say foolish because when you’re made for it you just have to embrace it. Yes I’m talking about turning up while your young blood is burning up for something exciting for the sake of exciting the masses and showing up at the coolest addresses.

That was the life made for a guy like me, spent more time vibing instead of hitting the library. All the things they had flashing in your face on the screens, I was always planning them behind the scenes. By now I could have been the face on magazines with a title of a young boy who caught fame like a disease. They would pay us for being the biggest party animals and then film us as we caught game with some rich boys from overseas.

Yes I was your typical one day nigga and a real day one nigga. But something unusual was always within, for example, I knew the difference between Hoe and Ho Chi Minh.

So life hit me with big questions that I relentlessly began to ponder, like if I wasted my talent what would be my answer when one day I die and go to the life-after to answer to the Mighty God seated at the alter.

Then I turned and looked around me and you were there, so patient and gentle and fair – then I wondered that maybe you weren’t just another dirty dish that I would rince a few times and leave you to wish that you had been wiser and kept your love for a true Prince.

I am that true Prince. And it’s because of you that I know this. It’s the moments like this that are truly bliss, having someone occasionally calling me Chris, reminding me that I’m not just some typical – for all your troubles one day I’ll take you somewhere tropical.

~Dedicated~

Right my Wrongs.

What is it going to be this time? It’s with this question that I open my mind – I’m currently in the mood to write something that’s motivated by this burning eagerness to right my wrongs.

I spent countless hours and precious brain cells dwelling on the things I did not understand. I spent so much time thinking my talent was a crime that was holding me caged in a cell of creativity when what I had to do was finish my notes on objectivity, impartiality and judges and the Law.

I spent so many days in so many ways allowing a book and it’s author to write my life. I’ll probably hate myself more because I could write a book about my life, dedicate it as a present to my future with lessons from my past.

I’m sure it would help me when I need to get around certain obstacles that I don’t need to get tangled in, like that time when I thought I needed to write a rhyme on each page just to make my story sound right.

But I’ve still got time, I’m far from my prime and my youthfulness has given me a drive to survive and every time I come across as flooded by useless thoughts I’ll remember to dive straight into my words, write them down and just hope I don’t drawn in myself and my mind – which is probably what had me feeling so encaged in creativity, neglecting the opportunity to write my life.

Now I can right my wrongs, I’m feeling blessed because I can write my wrongs with precision and persuasion and oozing a creativity that has set me free from the cage where the books and their authors and judges had me convinced and convicted and sentenced to a life unwritten.